When Writing is A Battle

I’m in high school and trying to think of a book idea.

I’d played around with novels in the past and always said I wanted to be an author, but I wanted to sit down and really do it. I mean… I was fourteen years old for crying out loud. SE Hinton had her first book written when she was 15 and published when she was 18. Clearly, I had to get going.

There was the age old advice of “write what you know” and I always rolled my eyes at it. What I knew was so boring. Until my sister points out “you know the story of Snow White better than anyone. Why don’t you just write about that?”

Well… now there’s an idea.

It’s a few years post college and I have an incredibly rough draft complete of this old idea about Snow White I once had.

Having put my writing aspirations aside as a hobby and only participating in NaNoWriMo and toying with edits in exchange for focusing on a different career path, I realize I’m tired of keeping my writing on the side. I have so many other ideas. More characters and worlds to explore. I can’t not write anymore.

But… this book is not good.

For someone who played around with it periodically in high school in college it’s just fine. As an actual publishable novel? Not at all.

And I’m okay with this.

I set the book aside and work on something brand new.

It’s a couple years later.

I’ve completed and revised a book and queried it out to agents. Nothing happened with it. While I’m sad and disappointed, as I look through the manuscript I know there’s so much work to be done on it and to be frank - there wasn’t a market for this genre at the moment. Maybe I can return to it someday.

Yet, I don’t have anything else to work on.

As I sit in my living room watching TV an idea hits me like a lightning bolt. It has to do with Snow White. But… different.

No. NO WAY. I can’t go back to my terrible terrible book from high school. BAD IDEA.

But…

The same skeleton of the Snow White tale is there (obviously) and the same with the love interest. Yet… there’s more. A completely new turn. A new story. Sure, use the same character names if they still work. But this isn’t just revising a terrible old draft. It’s something new.

It’s August of 2018 and there’s two weeks to go until the PitchWars deadline.

My Snow White novel isn’t complete. It’s close, but, there’s so many more words to write than I’m used to in such a short period of time.

Yet… maybe I could do it.

Would it be hard?

For sure.

Is it possible though? Am I crazy enough to go for it?

I set a schedule for myself where I wake up early each morning before my 7am clock in time for work. When I get home, I write even more. Sometimes from the moment I get home to the moment I go to bed only to start it all over again the next morning. I cancel plans with friends and have to back out of meetings. I talk to my supervisor about my goal and they’re kind enough to let me leave early the day before my deadline and have the whole next day off so I can get it done.

With a few hours to spare - the book is done. The last half isn’t perfect. The last quarter is a hot mess. But it’s done. I’m completely and utterly exhausted and I never want to look at a computer screen ever again. I also have never been more proud of myself regardless of the outcome.

Submit.

It’s April 2019 and I’m still revising.

I didn’t get picked for PitchWars - but I later learned I did get attention. Someone helps guide me through how to revise. I read a book about plotting. I outline, write and edit, reoutline then rewrite and reedit. I get started, then there’s times for weeks I can barely look at the page.

Each time I have a break through a roadblock appears. Even if it’s just one I’ve created in my own head. I think I have it all though through then when I go to write my mind completely blanks out.

I’ve cut so many words and added even more words only to have them cut again.

I know this is how the revision process goes, but it doesn’t feel like I’m making any. I know it’s being made, but my heart won’t accept this fact.

Other novel ideas are floating around in my head and it’s so tempting to just say “well… I tried that time for something else.” I want to dig through those stories and characters. I want to take all that I’ve learned and maybe, just maybe, this time around it’ll be better.

It’ll be easier.

But if I stopped one book and started a new one every time it got hard I would never have anything complete. So, I keep going.

Then I doubt myself. “What if this wasn’t such a brilliant idea in the first place? What if there isn’t really anything to salvage out of this? Do I really want to waste my time on a book that’s never going to be great? Maybe you were never meant to publish a book. You’ve been talking about this literally your entire life and you still can’t even get revisions on this one book done.”

There’s a literary agent/writer I follow on Twitter, Eric Smith, and he tweeted several weeks ago “The book of your heart is worth fighting for.”

In case you're a writer who needs to hear this...

The book of your heart is worth fighting for.

— Eric Smith (@ericsmithrocks) March 16, 2019

Is this Snow White novel the book of my heart? It might be. Although, I wonder if there is even a single “book of your heart.” I think you might have a few. They all just each explore a different part of your heart. I think this book is one of the books of my heart.

I keep trying to remind myself that if this is the case, it’s worth the fight and the battle. The days of self-doubt and frustration. All of it will be worth it.

Maybe I should shoot for only 100 words a day. Even if it’s not much progress, it’s at least something on days when my brain can’t work any more. Maybe I should set another hard and fast goal to force myself to get it done and stop making excuses. Maybe if I make one more outline it’ll work itself out.

Maybe this

Maybe that

Try this

Try that

Yet… it’s still not done.

Why isn’t it done?

I know I don’t have a timeline and I can’t compare myself to the routines of other people because every has their own process. In spite of knowing this, I can’t help but keep asking myself “Why can’t I just figure it out and get it done?”

There’s something that’s going to be special and unique about this book. There has to be. Something in me says to keep going and keep digging through the muck and I’ll find something special. For some reason, it’s not coming out yet.

I know writing and revising is hard. Most of us writers know this. But when we’re actually in the middle of it, we (or at least I) start to wonder “Is it supposed to be this hard?”

The book of your heart is worth fighting for.

So, I’m trying. And I’m fighting. Even if I don’t hit my word count goal each day. Even if end up deleting all of the scenes that I’ve already written and I have to start some of them (or all of them) over. Camp NaNoWriMo and spring arriving with it’s sunshine helps. Talking with other writers and my CPs helps. But it’s hard right now. It’s been hard for several months now.

But I can’t stop fighting for this book.

---

Like what you read? Consider buying me a coffee.

Merry in Manhattan - Part 2

Welcome back to part 2 of Merry in Manhattan to see some of the adventures Lane and Chris go on. (Even if it’s a little late… Sorry!) It’s been really fun to write so far! If you missed part one, click here.

The room was pitch black save for the shining menorah at the head table and the dozens of glow in the dark sticks, bracelets, and necklaces which the guests wore and lined the tables all in blue and white.

“This is incredible,” I said.

“You’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy,” he answered and passed me a bright blue cocktail rimmed with sugar.

“Definitely not.” I took a sip of the sweet drink while also eyeing the dessert table filled with sufganiyot, chocolate coins, and marzipan. It made my mouth water. “So, who are the traditional guests I need to convince that I’m your girlfriend? I need to be sure that I’m putting on a good show.”

“Well-”

“CHRIS! You made it!”

I almost covered my ears from the shriek that caused everyone in the vicinity to cringe and stop their conversations for a moment. A petite woman with curly brown hair which made her almost a foot taller bounced through the crowd and waved frantically at Chris and I. He promptly wrapped an arm around my waist with his free hand and pulled me close to his side. Her smile only faltered for a moment before returning to it’s startling sparkle which could be seen even in the dark room.

Looked liked my acting career needed to start immediately.

“Alexis, hi. I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

Alexis tossed her hair and playfully swatted at Chris’ shoulder. “Oh you did too! And who’s this?” Her smile remained bright but a thin sheen of ice clouded her eyes when she looked at me.

Huh. Well. This was interesting. People who were “traditional” needing him to have a date my ass. I could watch him squirm a bit and let this woman chase after him all night but… no new office and nothing to do the rest of the month. He’d probably find one of his other girls to tag along.

“I’m Lane,” I said and stuck my hand out for her to shake it. She took it hesitantly then I pulled mine away abruptly let it land on Chris’ arm. I clung to him like fly paper. “It’s so nice to meet you! I can’t believe Chrissy-boo hasn’t mentioned me!” I ruffled his hair for good measure and he tensed under my grip. If this was what he wanted me to do, he was going to get the whole nine yards.

“Lane… I thought we agreed you wouldn’t call me that in public,” Chris said through a grin.

I lay my head on his broad shoulder and looked at him through my lashes. “I just can’t help myself!”

Alexis waved her hand between Chris and I. “So… you’re together?”

“We don’t like to put labels on things…” Chris started to say.

“A few weeks now! And it’s been perfect,” I cooed over him.

Alexis’ smile faltered again but to her credit, she was really trying hard to not let us see. “Wow. That’s… that’s so great! Anyway, it was so good to see you. I’m gonna get a drink. Do you need a drink? I need a drink. Catch up later? Bye!”

She scampered off in the direction of the bar and I gave her a tiny wave. Once she was out of sight I pushed Chris aside. “You liar!”

Chris’ eyes went wide as he tried to keep his drink from spilling. “What?”

I put my hand on my hip. “You said you needed me because the people hosting these parties were ‘traditional.’ You just need someone to be here so that you don’t get any unwanted attention.”

Chris groaned and wrapped his free arm around my shoulders and we walked through the party. He waved and smiled to people he knew as he spoke. “She’s my best friends cousin and we run in the same circles. Especially this time of year and get invited to the same parties. I couldn’t stand another year of her chasing after me.” We pushed past a small crowd and placed our drinks on a tall table wrapped in glow sticks. Chris rested his arm on the table and leaned forward. “It’s not like you are mad about not going home because of their grand Christmas celebrations though.”

My jaw dropped. “Yes I am!”

Chris raised his brows. “And your ex has nothing to do with it?”

I stammered and took a sip of my drink. “I … what? No… how do you know about him?”

“You talk about your hometown a lot. It doesn’t take a genius to put together that Terrance wasn’t a mere acquaintance.”

I took a larger sip of the drink and set it back on the table with a clunk. I really needed to watch what I was saying around the office. “We were engaged. High school sweethearts. The whole nine yards. He does real estate there and is basically a hometown hero.”

“For selling houses?”

“For winning football state championship in high school. Apparently that qualifies him to tell people where to live now.” I traced the rim of my glass with the tip of my finger then licked the sugar off. “We’d been growing apart for awhile, especially when I was in grad school. He never wanted to come to New York and I think that was why I stayed home for so long. Anyway, we broke up and I knew it was a good time to leave. He wasn’t happy that I’d left though and said I’d fail but he’d be waiting there for me when I realized it.”

Chris grimmaced. “Ouch.”

“Yeah. He wasn’t that great of a guy it turns out. So, I was kind of looking forward to shoving my New York success in his face over Christmas.”

Chris raised his glass. “Now that’s true holiday spirit!” He dug around in his pockets until a phone appeared. He came to my side and held it in front of us. “Say cheese!” Before I could smile the photo was taken.

“What is that for?” I pulled away from him and finished my drink.

“You want revenge on your ex? Crawling back home and talking up New York won’t do it. Your family leaving on a cruise is the best thing that could have happened to you because now you can be here and showing off your life without even thinking about Terrance.”

I leaned against the table and considered this. “That doesn’t seem a bit high schoolish?”

Chris scoffed. “You really think any of us have matured past the age of 18? Besides, you know I’m right.”

I looked at the phone and cringed at the awful photo. “Fine. But we take another picture.”

We pulled in close once again and he wrapped his arm around me and just as he took the photo he kissed my cheek. Which… wasn’t awful to be honest. He had really soft lips. He posted it to his social media and a moment later I had a notification that I’d been tagged. It was a weirdly convincing image. I smiled as I looked at it.

“Why are you being so nice?” I asked.

Chris shrugged. “Christmas… well… Hanukkah spirit you can say.”

“Well, thank you.”

“Hey, you’re the one doing me a favor by keeping Alexis away.”

“And you’re giving me your office.” I put my phone away and stood up straight, ready to face the rest of the party. “So, what event do we have next?”

Chris only smiled.

---

Like what you read? Consider buying me a coffee.

Death's Child

It was so cold.

The young man clutched his frozen fingers into the icy ground and tried to pull himself up. With a groan, he collapsed into the snow again. His leaf and leather made clothing was soaked through and he couldn't find his fur-lined jacket anywhere. 

They always said Kutlaus was a benevolent father to his children, but the moment he fell into the ice filled stream, the young man knew the god who ruled the forest had turned his back on him. Or perhaps he had turned his back upon the god long ago. Who knew anymore?

But he wasn't going to let Kutlaus ignore him. He'd find his own way, frozen stream or no. He clawed his way up to the surface, breaking the ice as he went. He got himself up onto the shore. There was no need for Kutlaus to protect him. He could save himself if needed.

If only he could find dry clothing. 

Or a fire.

Anything to rid himself of the never ending cold.  How long had he been lying there now? A few minutes? An hour. He couldn't tell anymore. 

Perhaps it was Luana, the night and winter goddess, he should be cursing instead. Or all of them for that matter.

"Cursing all of us, are you, Rafe?" a light honeyesque, female voice said. 

A chill ran up Rafe's spine at the words, one entirely different from the water freezing into icicles in his hair. 

He gathered the strength to look up and saw before him, a black lace robe floating about her person, covering every bit of her, including her face, save for her pale as death bare feet. Everything around them stilled, as though the forest itself was holding it's breath.  She took silent steps toward him and knelt at his side, pushing aside the hood of her robe to reveal a ghost white face with haunting, unblinking, black eyes with black streaks running down her face like permanent streams of tears.

"Stula," he breathed.

Her black lips smirked. "You evaded me in the stream. I was to escort you from there."

"Save... myself..." he muttered, teeth chattering. 

Stula tilted her head to the side, considering him. "So young, yet so strong to escape your fate in the water," she mused. "Well, young Rafe, what would you like to do?"

Rafe stared at her. "What would I like to do?"

"Your heart is growing weaker as we speak. Your body cannot gather heat, and you have minutes, if that, left of your short little life. Once it is through, I can escort you to the next life, the one others have only wondered about but never seen. Or, you are strong. I can use someone strong to do my bidding. Find others like you who try to avoid my arrival," she explained calmly.

"Serve the goddess of death?" Rafe asked.

"And change and maturity," she said. "But yes, death."

"What do I get?"

"Immortality in this world, a new life, strength, magic, freedom when I do not need you."

Rafe shivered, then nodded his head once. 

That was all Stula needed. She placed a hand upon his chest a new blast of cold seared through him. He cried out as her magic pierced his body. Upon his arm, a black image of a skeleton's hand holding a rose etched into his skin and he groaned from the wound. When it was completed, a black glow hovered around it, then sank into his body. 

Stula stepped back and smiled. 

Rafe no longer felt the cold, but then, something cracked from inside of him. He cried out. It happened again, then again, then again, until he was writhing and screaming in pain. He didn't know how long it lasted, but once it was through, he found he now stood upon four legs, and a warm fur coat covered his body.

The clouds above parted and the bright full moon shone through the darkness. The pain subsided, and something else stirred within his chest. A calling.

"You'll get used to the transformation, and will be able to call upon it as you wish," Stula said. She opened her arms as though in invitation. 

From his mouth came a long, loud, howl, and he felt free.

And he was hungry. 

---

I wanted to write this piece for last month's flash fiction, but it never came to me! This character, Rafe, from my current work in progress has been swirling about in my head but I haven't been able to see him clearly until recently. This was fun for me to dig into his back story a bit, and to reveal one of the deities for this world's religion I hadn't explored much yet. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

Also, if you're buying some books - check out this offer (and others) from Barnes and Noble, good May 9-15, 2018! (Yes, it's an affiliated link. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!)

Take 10% Off Your Order with code YESWAY

Like what you read? Consider buying me a coffee. 

April Reading Round-Up

I know I probably say this every month - but April seriously flew by. I feel like I blinked and suddenly it was May. Is it just me? 

But, at least the weather is FINALLY starting to feel like spring. Here in Chicago, I think the high is supposed to be close to 80 degrees. Which feels like summer to me... but I'll take it over the snow and freezing weather we had most of April! I'm not one to complain a ton about winter taking forever to leave, because we're in Chicago. It could potentially snow in May sometimes. Yet... even for me this was a bit much. This was one of the coldest Aprils we've had in a long time. 

ANYWAY. Onto books. I started seven books and finished six, and I can honestly say that I enjoyed them all except for the one I didn't finish. Which, I suppose I do genuinely enjoy most of the books I read, since as time has gone on I've gotten a good sense if I'll like something or not when I pick it up. 

Some notes on how I do wrap ups: I don't include plot summaries because the publisher can summarize them much better than I can. If you want to know the plot summary, I've left an Amazon affiliated link in the book title so you can check it out. I rate books on a 1-5 star scale. (1= worst book ever why did I read this?; 2= did not enjoy; 3= this was good!; 4= I really liked it! 5= OMG LOVED THIS IT'S THE BEST EVER!) For the most part, you're going to see 3-5 star ratings from me and not a lot of negative simply because if I don't like a book, I'm not going to finish it.

A Night to Surrender (Spindle Cove #1) By Tessa Dare

• Genre: Historical Romance
• Format: ebook
• Rating: 4.5 Stars

For the last few months I've seen a lot of my book friends talking about Tessa Dare and how her books are SO GREAT. I downloaded this one, the first in her Spindle Cove series FOREVER ago, but haven't picked it up until now. 

Well...

IT WAS SO GREAT.

I was literally laughing out loud at moments in this book. It's this awesome opposites attract/battles of the sexes/could be labeled hate-to-love romance in Regency (I think) England. The hero and heroine were both fantastic and really sexy. It was feminist, had disability rep (our hero was wounded in a war), a fun cast of side characters I can't wait to get to know in future books, and I love the setting of Spindle Cove where women go when they don't fit in "normal" society and can learn to accept themselves for who they are and build confidence. 

I can't wait to continue with the series!

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy:  battle of the sexes, opposites attract, historical fiction, soldiers, feminism, steamy romance
• Trigger Warnings: amputation and explosion

---

Throne of Glass (Throne of Glass #1) by Sarah J Maas (Re-read)

• Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
• Format: Hardcover
• Rating: 4 Stars

And I'm continuing my re-read of the Throne of Glass series in preparation for the final book coming out in October! (Sob.) I'm basically a mess when it comes to reading this series. Even though the intense stuff hasn't happened yet, I read a single chapter in this first book and I'm ready to cry because I'm seeing all of the little pieces Maas has been putting together and all that she's built up. I read it and I'm like "MY PRECIOUS BABIES YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S COMING." 

Are her books flawed? Yes. But I just adore them still and I'm unhealthily attached to these characters. 

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy:  assassins, high fantasy, epic fantasy, love triangles, rags to riches, competitions, political intrigue, action/adventure
• Trigger Warnings:  starvation, slavery, torture, loss of parents, violence

---

Kushiel's Dart (Kushiel's Legacy #1) by Jaqueline Carey (Temporary DNF)

• Genre: Epic Fantasy
• Format: Mass Market Paperback
• Rating: NA

This is the one book I didn't finish. At first, it was a temporary choice because there were other books I wanted to get to and I'd go back to it when I was done with those. However... the more I think about it, the more I lose interest.

Which, is incredibly disappointing for me. I've heard such great things about this fantasy series. It's about courtesans and assassins, this big epic fantasy world, it's sexy and unique, there's a strong female leading character etc. All of these things are things I enjoy in books! But the whole book I was kinda... meh.

The world, characters, and plot definitely have their interesting moments. But I still found myself bored and waiting for something to happen. Then something would happen and I'd be really excited... but then it was anti-climatic. I'm all for character driven books, and not always plot driven. I also know with these long epic fantasies, you need to be patient and a lot of times you get a big pay-off in the end. But when plot points you've been waiting for for over 500 pages arrive and it just is "meh," that doesn't give me much hope for the following 400 pages. (No, I'm not exaggerating, this book really is that long.)

I haven't given up complete hope on this book yet. But, we'll see if I get back to it. 

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy:   slow burn plot/romance, epic fantasy, character-driven, BDSM (kind of... I thought it was super tame for all of the warnings I got about that particular element of the sotry)
• Trigger Warnings:  pain, torture, violence, negligent parents, BDSM moments, sex as religious expreience

---

Second Chance Charmer by Brighton Walsh

• Genre:  Contemporary Romance
• Format: ebook
• Rating: 3.5 Stars

After being disappointed by Kushiel's Dart, I went to one of my new go-to authors for something light and fun. Enter Brighton Walsh's newest book! It just came out in March or April and it was exactly what I needed.

It's not my favorite book of hers (that goes to Tessa Ever After) but it's everything you'd want in a Brighton Walsh novel. SUPER sexy, fun, and a dual POV narrative. My one big critique is that I wish we had seen more of the couple with their relationship, and not just the sexy times. For me, for the sexy times to work, I need to see that the couple has an actual relationship too. We know they have one because they were high school sweethearts, but because that was in the past we didn't get to see it on page as much. But, I was convinced by the end so I guess that's all that matters. 

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy: This kind of reminded of a Sweet Home Alabama type of story where they were high school sweethearts, he was a bad boy, it takes place in the south, etc. 
• Trigger Warnings:  abandonment, negligent parents

---

Given to the Earth (Given #2) by Mindy MicGinnis

• Genre: Young Adult Fantasy
• Format: Hard Cover
• Rating: 4 Stars

This is the sequel to Mindy McGinnis' other fantasy book, Given to the Sea. Out of Mindy McGinnis' books I've read, Given to the Sea wasn't my favorite. However, I love this author and want to support her, and it was interesting enough that I wanted to know what happened next. Honestly, I think I liked this second installment more than the first.

Maybe because she got more into the stride of writing fantasy? Maybe it was because I knew more of what to expect from this author when it came to fantasy? Who knows. But I really enjoyed it. I liked where each of the characters went ("like" being used loosly because some of the end completely broke my heart), I liked the direction the story went, and how it was mostly about a people simply needing to learn how to survive when their land is failing them. Yes, it had the political stuff, but that wasn't the main focus the way it is in other fantasy books. It was much more focused on the character development which I appreciated. 

Also, don't judge Mindy McGinnis' books because they're young adult. A majority of her readers and fans are actually adults. 

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy: character-driven fantasy, shorter fantasy, 
• Trigger Warnings: rape culture (although that theme was not as prevalent as it was in the first book), mental illness, cheating and affairs, violence, harm to animals

---

Leah on the Offbeat (Creekwood #2) by Becky Albertalli

• Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
• Format: Hard Cover
• Rating: 4 Stars

With the first book, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda being one of my favorites EVER, it's probably no surprise the sequel, Leah on the Offbeat was one of my most anticipated books of 2018. 

It did not dissapoint!

I loved seeing all of my favorite characters in their senior year preparing for their futures. THE PROM DINNER WAS LITERALLY ONE OF MY DREAMS FULFILLED. I loved how Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat was the musical the characters were in because that too was my musical my senior year of high school. I also loved that Leah got to be in the spotlight! (Bi-sexual rep!)

The reason why this book is four stars is because compared to Becky's other two books, I didn't enjoy and relate to this one quite as much. Also, I felt the beginning was a bit scattered, and the ending rushed. However, compared to other books of the same genre I'd give this 4.5-5 stars.

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy:  young adult contemporary, coming out stories, high school seniors thinking about the future, cute/sweet romance, any of Becky's other books.
• Trigger Warnings: racism... and I can't think of any others

---

A Court of Wings and Ruin (A Court of Thorns and Roses #3) by Sarah J Maas (Re-Read)

• Genre: New Adult Fantasy
• Format: Hard Cover
• Rating: 4 stars

In preparation for the novella coming out May 1st (today!!!!) that is the bridge between the A Court of Thorns and Roses trilogy and the spin-off books, on a whim I decided to re-read the trilogy to catch up. Because apparently I don't have enough Sarah J Maas in my life.

I liked this book more upon my re-read of it than I did the first time. Which, I've learned happens a lot with Maas' books. Not that I don't enjoy them the first time, but for some reason when I go back it's even better. 

That being said, it's a good conclusion to the trilogy and I like where everyone ends up. But at the same time, there could be more. Which is ridiculously vauge, but it's the best way I can describe it. With certain elements it's like Maas goes for something, and then backs off just slightly. Even if it totally rips our hearts out, sometimes I wish she would really GO FOR IT. 

I know... that probably doesn't make any sense. But it's the best I can do at the moment without giving away spoilers. Haha. 

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy:  Sarah J Maas' other books, romance, sexy times, fae, war stories, squad goals, a lot of shippable couples, epic and high fantasy
• Trigger Warnings:  war, violence,  not great diverse representation, PTSD, breaking of bones, abusive romantic relationship

What did you all read in April? Anything you think I'd like? Have you read any of these books? If you've read Kushiel's Dart, is it worth my finishing?

Also, if you're buying some books - check out this offer from Barnes and Noble, good May 9-15, 2018!

Take 10% Off Your Order with code YESWAY

---

Like what you read? Consider buying me a coffee. 

The Should-Be Hole

When I begin to dream up a book, I can see the perfect image of what it should be. The feel it should have, the messages to come through, and where it would sit on a shelf in the bookstore. I think about how it'll be different from the others I've written and the challenges but also awesome moments it will have. 

Then, I begin my rough draft, and it's nothing like I imagined .

I don't have all of the answers I think I do. The prose is clunky and awkward. Characters aren't developed. There's so many plot and world building holes it looks like Swiss Cheese. 

When approaching White Rose, I pictured this big sprawling epic fantasy. I would have maps, charts, appendixes to all of the political alliances and family trees. I even have a guide to the religion and all of the deities. Which is pretty great and I'm proud of the work I have gotten done, even if it's not totally complete yet. 

I realized then, that it's been a long time since I've read a big epic fantasy for an adult audience. I wasn't even sure how those books felt anymore. I've read them for young adult, but not adult lately. So, I picked up one.

Goodness, it was boring.

Now, I love long descriptions and a beautifully detailed fantasy world like anyone else. But this book had me so bored. It had rave reviews and had everything I'd usually enjoy in a fantasy. Intrigue, romance, a great leading female character, etc. Yet, the style of the writing left me completely bored and I had to force myself each day to pick up the book. 

Later, I thought about the other fantasy novels I tend to enjoy. The big fat adult fantasies are in there for sure, but the vast majority are either urban fantasy, or they're young adult. It made me think about how I'm approaching my own novel. (Now, if only New Adult would become an actual thing and not just a romance sub-genre... that would be great because I think my novel would fit there... but that's another topic for another time.)

What's been making me stumble with my last couple of projects is the idea of what the novel "should" be. I think it "should" be one thing, when that thing may not be what I actually like or am good at. Or, I think about the book as how the end result will be, and not what the rough draft is. 

VE Schwabb wrote this on her Twitter once, and I still think of it often: (I would link the tweet itself, but it was in 2015 and I don't have the patience to scroll through her feed that far back)

"So many people set out to write a Novel of Great Importance. I just want to write stories that make people forget where they are. I want to make readers miss their stop. I want to make them smile and gasp and cheer. I want them to have fun."

A lot of writers think about this, and it's not an uncommon struggle for myself. (I wrote about it when Schwabb first wrote this tweet on my old blog in 2015!) I think my novel needs to be Very Important. It has to have the most advanced vocabulary, beautiful prose, and have Deep Meaning. All of these things are great and wonderful.

But is that really me?

I hope my books have deeper meanings than they may appear and will touch people who read them. But ultimately, I want them to be enjoyable. Not a chore for someone to sit through as they struggle to pick it up because supposedly it's "good" for them. 

I refer to books like that as being kale. Some people love it, and that's great for them. But for me, it's that healthy food that is supposed to be really good for you and in the end my body will probably be glad I ate it. But the process makes me cringe because it just doesn't taste good.

It's not just with writing though. How many times in our lives do we see something and think "that's what my life should be!" But, that's not reality at all? And that's okay.

Too many times we stumble because we think we need to be, look, and behave a certain way. We should have a certain type of job, our relationship status should be one thing, at a certain age or body type you need to dress a specific way, etc. 

Why do we put this pressure on ourselves? It can be good to set goals for ourselves and be sure we're making progress and taking care of our lives, family, friends, etc. But these goals should be based on what we like, enjoy, and do for ourselves. Not what we think everyone else would find impressive. 

But it's a hard rut to get out of. I see myself with my career and where I am in life and find myself comparing to others and what it "should" be. When I write I imagine what my novel or my blog posts "should" be, and then it becomes something I don't actually want or like. 

What do you do to get out of the "should be" hole?

---

Like what you read? Consider buying me a coffee. 

January Reading Round-Up and February TBR

This year started off pretty slow for me reading-wise. The first few books I read I enjoyed... but my focus just wasn't there. I could tell you basic plot lines and the general feeling of each book. But details? Nope. It felt slow for me. On the one hand, it was good because I wasn't reading as much and that's a goal of mine for the year. (I need way more life/reading balance!)

On the other hand, it feels odd to me. I can tell something is off because even though I read far less books than usual, my focus on them wasn't there at all. Even for writing, I can't seem to focus on anything. I blame winter. 

It got better the last few days though.

Anyway.

Here's what I read this past month. 

*This post contains Amazon affiliated links.

The Grisha Trilogy by Leigh Bardugo

• Genre: YA Fantasy
• Format: paperback
• Rating: 4 Stars for the whole series

I've literally had this series sitting on my shelf for years. I heard a ton of hype for the first book, Shadow and Bone so I picked up the paperback. It took me at least three years to finally pick it up. I'm not sure why because I knew I'd like it. When I did at the end of 2016 I was blown away! WHY DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG? Which meant I immediately ran to the store to buy the next two. 

Then... they sat and gathered dust on my shelf for at least another year. 

I decided the first thing I would read in January was this trilogy. Give the first book a re-read then jump into the next two right away. 

The Grisha Trilogy is a sold four-star series. Which, was slightly disappointing to me. So many people rave about these books I for sure thought I was going to jump on the bandwagon and make it five stars as well. But... it just wasn't there for me. I cant think of a single thing which is particularly "wrong" or done "badly." The characters were good and I liked the relationships Alina built, the Darkling was interesting, and the friendships were great particularly in the second and third books. The world building and magic were good and I liked how it had a historical Russian feel. The plot was fine, and it ticked all of those usual boxes I usually LOVE in a YA fantasy series.

But, it didn't have that particular "extra" I need in order to be a complete fan-girl over them and give a full five stars. Even the first book which I remembered LOVING so much at first, upon my re-read I was like "oh... it was good but... NOT BEST BOOK EVA" the way I had originally. 

I do want to read the spin-off duology, Six of Crows, but I'm going to take a break from this author for a bit, then go back to it. 

If you enjoy YA fantasy, you'll enjoy this series.

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy: Other young adult fantasy books, love triangles, adventure, Russia, magic
• Trigger Warnings: violence, mutilation, manipulative relationship, harm to animals, orphans, poverty

---

Wives of War by Soraya M. Lane

• Genre: Historical Fiction (WWII)
• Format: ebook
• Rating: 4 stars

The start of this book was a bit slow for me, but once I got to part two - I was all in! My favorite part was the friendship between the three nurses. They're definitely #squadgoals! They had their ups and downs, and had to stick by each others side even when the world seemed to be ending around them. Each woman was fantastic and powerful in her own way, and I was a fan of all three of their romances. 

The writing style, I'll admit, wasn't anything remarkable. She got repetitive and would talk over and over again about how they wanted to take a warm bath and drink real tea. Which, I'm sure those were thoughts nurses during WWII had repeatedly during their service. But, as a reader, I don't need it to be told to me every other page. 

There was one character who had significant injuries toward the end of the book and had paralysis. I wasn't a huge fan of how she handled that particular character, but she also kind of wrote herself into a hole in regards to them, and there weren't many other options for them. But, there was another character who also ended up with significant injuries and could be considered disabled and I thought they were handled much better. 

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy:  Call the Midwife, WWII stories, books about friendship, historical romance, multiple points of view
• Trigger Warnings: graphic war injuries, PTSD, unplanned pregnancy, trauma, burning, cheating, suicide, depression

---

Uprooted by Naomi Novik

• Genre: Fantasy
• Format: ebook
• Rating: 4 stars

Under normal circumstances, Uprooted is a book I would have LOVED. But, as I stated at the start of this post, my focus has been lacking the last few weeks. It took me far longer than usual to read this book, and there were a lot of times I'd read a page then be like "what did I just read?" then have to go back and read it again. I remember the gist of the book, and was able to follow the main plot points. But details? Not so much.

It was a weird reading experience for me. But I don't think it was the book's fault, just my brain not working how it usually does.

It's not you, Uprooted, it's me.

When people talk about Uprooted, usually I hear about how it has a fairy tale feel and the romance between Agnieszka and "the dragon." These are both true things, and I enjoyed both. But, the true heart of the story is the friendship between Agnieszka and Kasia. The romance was much more in the background than I anticipated. Just... OH MY GOODNESS talk about #friendshipgoals. They were by far my favorite part of this book. In fact, I want some fanfiction about them being the real romance. Can I have that please? Thanks. (Not that I didn't like the romance between her and the dragon, that was good too.) The world building was fine, the magic was fine, and I liked the fairy tale feel. But seriously, the friendship was what sold me. 

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy:  epic fantasy, fairy tales, romance, friendship
• Trigger Warnings: sexual assault/on page rape attempt, graphic magic violence 

---

Relinquished Hood (Red Hood Chronicles #2) by Kendrai Meeks

• Genre: Urban Fantasy (could be considered New Adult)
• Format: ebook
• Rating: 3.5 Stars

After not being able to focus on anything, I decided I needed a bit of a lighter read and something I could get through quickly and have fun. For me, that usually means an urban fantasy. I read the first book in this series, Reluctant Hood, over the summer and really liked it, then downloaded the second one once it came out. But I haven't read it yet, and the third book is coming out in February. I decided it was high time I read book two. This was was exactly what I needed because I finished it in a single day.

It took me a second to remember the details of the first book, but as I got into this one it all came back to me. I really love the whole vampires who are also scientists twist this book has and how Geri is a biology student. The twists on fairy tales and the lore is also really fun. I can't go too much into detail about what happens in this book and my thoughts because I don't want to spoil the first one. But, there is this whole thing where werewolves and hoods can spiral into madness which is really interesting, but I don't think it was shown enough in this book and we were only told that Geri could go down that spiral. I didn't actually see the potential for her too, and if I had, I think it would have bumped up my rating for this book because it could have been interesting to see. 

That being said, I'm still pretty excited for the third one to come out at the end of February and already have my copy pre-ordered.

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy:  fairy tale inspired, werewolves, vampires, STEM, Dracula/Van Helsing lore, urban fantasy that has some romantic elements but they are more in the background
• Trigger Warnings:  loss of a loved one, graphic violence

---

Illuminae (The lluminae Files #1) by Amie Kauffman and Jay Kristoff

• Genre: Young Adult Sci-Fi
• Format: Hardcover
• Rating: 5 Stars

Then I read Illuminae.

I have been attempting to read this book for over a year. I've picked it up and put it down at least two or three times. Not because I wasn't enjoying it or I didn't like it or wasn't interested. I simply didn't have the focus for it. After I finished Relinquished Hood, I thought that perhaps the unique format would be good for me so I could get into a different head space. 

What makes this book (the the other books in this series) so unique is that it is not your typical novel format. The entire book is a collection of "files" compiled together to form a narrative. It's multi-media, has notes, pictures, name lists, diagrams, emails, instant message conversations, etc. Which, is pretty awesome, and creative. I've also heard that the audiobook is amazing. I do have the audiobook and I wanted to listen to it as I read because it has a full cast and a friend of mine said it's a great reading experience that way, but when I listen to audiobooks it's in the car on my way to work which means that I wouldn't be able to actually read along. Maybe someday I'll go back and listen to it. 

I definitely needed to switch my mind into a different gear to read, but once I got used to it ... WOW. Just... wow. Part of me doesn't even want to tell you more about it because the more I read the more I loved it and I got so invested in the story... and I kind of loved not knowing a whole lot about the story. It's space, and artificial intelligence that turns against you, and people getting sick, and action packed (much more brutal and dark than I originally thought, but I shouldn't have been since one of the authors wrote Nevernight). Just go read the book! It was amazing and I need to go get the second one, Gemina right now!

The only complaint I'd have about this book is that due to the format, I had a hard time keeping track of characters who weren't our two main protagonists, and I couldn't get to know them quite as much as I would have in a more traditional book. But, I was still very attached to them.

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy:  space, Firefly, unusual/unique book formats, dark Sc-Fi, artificial intelligence
• Trigger Warnings:  mass killings/attacks, space warfare, PTSD, loss of loved ones, madness, graphic/brutal violence, creepy children

---

Wires and Nerve (Wires and Nerve #1) by Marissa Meyer

• Genre: Young Adult Sci-Fi Graphic Novel
• Format: Hardcover
• Rating: 4 Stars

After re-reading all of The Lunar Chronicles in December, and with the second Wires and Nerve graphic novel being released this week, I decided it was time to re-read the first graphic novel in preparation. 

If you like The Lunar Chronicles, you'll like Wires and Nerve. Particularly if Iko is one of your favorite characters because this is all about her! I'm glad she finally got to be in the spotlight because she's just so delightful. You definitely need to read the other books first because the first five pages of the graphic novel give you a summary of the series and will definitely be filled with spoilers. I don't think it's quite as good as the novels, but still really fun. 

• You'll like this book if you also enjoy:  graphic novels, space, sci-fi, squad goals, androids, action, The Lunar Chronicles
• Trigger Warnings:  on page violence (but all of the images are in blue, and are very cartoon-esque, so it's pretty tame)

---

What I Want to Read in February

I decided for February, I'm going to have two specific themes for the books I'll be reading. 

It being Valentines Day, it's the perfect excuse to dive into all the cheesy/trashy/wonderful/and light-hearted romance books I have sitting on my Kindle. There's so many taking up space that I haven't had the chance to read yet. Then, after reading all of the holiday romances in December, I've still been in the mood for those types of books. This is the perfect time for me to binge read some. 

Here are some of the ones I'm thinking about:

But then... it's also Black History Month, and as of late, I've been doing an awful job of being sure that I'm reading more #ownvoices books. Therefore, I also want to read books which are written by black authors. I have yet another "stack" of them on my Kindle begging to be read!

What's even better? When the books fit with both goals.

Such as these:

Then, in preparation for the final Throne of Glass book by Sarah J Maas being released later this year, I'll be re-reading each book leading up to that day. Which mean, in February I'll be re-reading The Assassin's Blade and cry for forever. 

We'll see which of these I actually read!

What did you read in January? What are you planning to read in February?

---

Like what you read? Consider buying me a coffee. This simply helps me to offset costs (ex. paying for my website domain) so I can continue to create quality and professional content - along with you receiving my lifelong love and appreciation!

The Living Porcelain Doll

Photo on <a href="https://visualhunt.com/re/bde3d6">VisualHunt</a>

The chair wheels rattled along the path and a lion roared through the red and white fabric walls before me, followed by the familiar frustrated grunt of his young tamer, Oscar. I pulled aside the tent's flap in time to see him throw a whip to the ground and toss off his top hat. His shoulders relaxed when he saw me.

"What are you doing here, Grace?" he asked, but didn't hide his smile.

I held up a battered deck of cards. "I practice better here and I had time before I needed to do my makeup."

Oscar offered a quick nod. "Of course."

"Thanks."

I maneuvered myself  onto one of the stands, my skirt scandalously hitched around my legs to reveal the metal braces upon them, and straddled the bench. I'd quickly learned that modesty wasn't a high value at the circus. I couldn't help but notice Oscar's careful eye being sure I didn't lose my balance.

"You know, the sign for my act isn't true when it says I could break at any moment. I'm perfectly capable of moving." I spread the deck of cards across the bench surface.

"The Living Porcelain Doll" was the side act name. I originally auditioned to be the world's smallest magician. However, when I told the ringleader I was not only small, but also had fragile bones, he ignored my card tricks and concocted an entirely different plan. My arms and face were painted to look like a doll with the illusion of having cracks and gaps as though I had fallen off a shelf. I sat upon a stool in a long skirt which covered my braced legs as the audience members ogled. It was the only thing he could think of to showcase my "uniqueness."

The key, the ringleader told me, was to exaggerate the truth just enough so it was remarkable, while still being believable. I did have to be careful, but could at least move from the wheelchair to a bench on my own. Still, some of the other circus members treated me more like an actual porcelain doll than human.

Oscar cleared his throat and picked up his whip and hat. "Yes, but we don't need any injuries."

He returned to practicing and I spread the deck into a line face down. With a single nudge at the end they all flipped over to show the faces, diamonds, spades, hearts, and then clubs. Another nudge and they flipped back. One more nudge and they now were clubs, hearts, diamonds, and then spades.

The lion roared again while I shuffled, and the cards spilled across the bench and floor.

"Sorry," Oscar said and rushed over to help me pick them up. "He's having a bad day today."

I gave the lion a look and he lay down on the ground as though I had commanded him.

Oscar smiled and set the remaining cards on the bench. He took a seat and reclined against the taller bench behind it. "Sometimes I think you should be the lion tamer, and not me."

"You're both just tired."

I shuffled the cards again, spread them out on the bench between us, then focused on one. Slowly, it rose over the rest of the desk.

"You're getting better," Oscar said. "How did you do that?"

I shrugged. "I've always had a knack for it and I've been practicing a lot. It's a lot better in this tent though. I wish I could come in more often."

"With the exception of today, I tend to do better when I practice in here too." He looked between me and the lion, who was focused on the cards. "What else can you do with those?"

"There's one thing I've been trying out when I can sneak in here, but I haven't shown anyone yet." I wasn’t sure if I was ready. But, just maybe…

I hovered a palm over the deck, and the card which had slid over the others floated into the air. One by one, the others followed and created a flying circle. Oscar straightened himself as he watched with interest. The lion seemed to mimic his actions and watched as well. The cards circled around and floated higher in the air as they moved toward the center of the ring. The lion sat up straighter, its eyes intent on the cards.

Oscar's jaw dropped. "Amazing."

I felt my cheeks warm. With a twirl of my finger the cards spun around the lion and he circled, following them around the ring.

"Have you shown the ringmaster this?"

I sent the cards back to us and they collapsed onto the bench. I hadn't perfected getting them into a neat stack yet. Other than that, it worked.  "We already have a magician, remember? But, I’ve been meaning to ask... I was wondering if you could help me with something."

Oscar's eyes sparkled as a mischievous smile crept across his face.

***

For once I was glad I couldn't walk, because my legs wouldn't stop shaking underneath my skirt. We had to improvise a costume at the last minute, but Oscar had found a red jacket and a top hat for me to wear over my usual white dress. If we didn't pull this off, we were going to be in so much trouble.

"You're going to be amazing," Oscar whispered as he pushed my chair toward the tent entrance.

"This was a bad idea," I said. "We've barely even practiced."

"You're going to be amazing," he repeated.

The ringleader announced Oscar's act while the crowd stomped and cheered. My fingers tingled around the deck of cards as we entered the ring, and the lion waited for us, positioned on a red stool in the center. It almost looked as though he were smiling.

I'd always dreamed of being in the spotlight, and here I was.

And I was going to be amazing.

---

Author Note: It may come as no surprise to anyone that I LOVED the movie, The Greatest Showman. So, when I was stuck on what to write about for this month's Flash Fiction, a friend suggested "something circusy?" To which I joked:

"You realize this may become Night Circus or Greatest Showman fan-fiction, right?"

I ended up not doing exact fan fiction. While there's some vibes going on for sure...  it became an accidental "own voices" piece. When I think about The Greatest Showman, as much as I love it and as much as the movie talks about celebrating differences between people, the characters who represented marginalized groups didn't really have as great of roles as I had hoped. Which, that's another topic for another blog post.

But, it did help to inspire what I wanted to write if I were doing a piece about the circus. Thus, the own voices. I've never shared anything fictional in public about someone with the same condition as me before. (Read this blog post to find out more about my having Osteogenesis Imperfecta.) I tried to write one during NaNoWriMo a few years ago, but it was atrocious and will never see the light of day. I've also written about characters with other disabilities, but they weren't specifically what I had, and I only have shown them to a few other writer friends. The idea of sharing this is kind of terrifying to me. However, once the idea popped into my head I couldn't get it out. In fact, I love these characters, and my friends who reviewed this story before I published it also said they loved them, and I'm considering coming back to Grace and Oscar in a future story. 

So... I hope you liked it too.

And if you haven't seen The Greatest Showman or read The Night Circus, what are you waiting for? 

---

Like what you read? Consider buying me a coffee. This simply helps me to offset costs (ex. paying for my website domain) so I can continue to create quality and professional content - along with you receiving my lifelong love and appreciation!

Tips for Getting A Rough Draft Done

Currently, I'm in the middle of finishing my first draft of Vampire Snow White with the goal of having it completed by the end of February. Let me tell you - it certainly is rough!

As of late, the drafting part of writing has been more challenging than usual. It's when I realize that perhaps I didn't plan my novel as well as I thought I did, I'm noticing where all of the holes in my plot/characters/world are, and I'm anxiously waiting to get it done so I can get into editing and revising to make everything all pretty the way I imagined it. 

But, drafting is also a fun part of the writing process. All of the brainstorming and outlining has been happening and now it'll all start to come together and become an actual story - not just ideas in your head. Here are my tips for getting that draft finally done.

Just Start Writing

A lot of writers talk about writing, but never actually put words to the page. They make excuses of needing inspiration to hit, or they have to figure out a certain aspect of the book first, or their computer doesn't have the program they want, etc.

While sometimes these are all valid, there comes a point where you just have to stop making excuses, sit your ass in the chair, and put words on the page. You don't need to have a fancy writing program or wait for inspiration to hit. Experienced writers who have been doing this for awhile know that you don't wait for your muse to arrive. 

You train your muse to come to you. 

Use your computer, a notebook, a tablet, your phone, ANYTHING. Just sit down and get to work. Sometimes, you have to write a bunch of nonsense or even simply "I don't know what to write" over and over again but eventually the words will come. (Full disclosure:  it's about half way through January and I've barely written a word. Clearly, I need to take my own advice.) Which, brings me to my next point.

---

The Rough Draft is Going to be Bad

This is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome. Writers will get discouraged that scenes aren't coming out the way they want them to, there's plot holes, and the words don't sound as pretty as they thought they would. But at this point, it's okay.

That's why it's called a ROUGH draft. 

It's supposed to be terrible. 

One of my favorite quotes about writing is from Terry Pratchett. At least according to something I saw on Pinterest, he says, "The first draft is just you telling yourself the story."

The purpose of the rough draft isn't to show it off to people and have others read it. The purpose is to get words on the page and letting yourself discover the story. When you get to editing and revising, you can worry about having it ready for others to read. 

---

Create a Routine

This is hard for me sometimes, because my work schedule changes from week to week. But, I try to create a routine for myself as best as I can. This is how you train your muse to come to you. Your brain will start to recognize the cues for when you're getting ready to sit and write. And a routine doesn't always have to be a specific time and place. 

Sometimes, your routine is that you always go for a walk before going to write. I've heard Brandon Sanderson say this is what he does, and it helps to clear his mind and get his focus where it needs to be when it's time to sit at the computer. 

Or maybe you have a specific writing playlist you have to listen to when you write. Your mind will start to associate that music with your writing and your muse will wake up upon hearing it. 

Maybe you have a cup of coffee or tea each time you write and that's what helps to get your mind going. 

Whatever it takes, find that sweet spot that helps you get into your writing mode.

---

Be Flexible

For all of my talk about routine, I'm also a firm believer in being flexible. In an ideal world, I'd have specific days and times I could sit at my computer for hours with a cup of coffee and I could fall into the world and characters for as long as I like.

I don't know about you - but my life isn't like that. Even when I have a day off there's distractions and other things to do. 

Which is why I've trained myself to be flexible. I have Scrivener downloaded on my phone so when I have an idea, or when I'm interrupted in the middle of a scene, I can go ahead and jot it down on the go. Is it ideal? Nope. But it gets the job done.

A lot of times I also end up using Google Docs to get some drafting done because I can get to it anywhere there's a computer and get my word count in for the day. 

A friend of mine who is a new mom had to adjust her routine as well, and train herself to know that when the baby is napping, it's time to write. 

Writing isn't a perfect, ideal, clean, clear-cut, process. As much as I would love it to be, it just isn't.  Being flexible I've found to be essential.

---

Set a Deadline

There's a reason why National Novel Writing Month works so well for so many people. It has a set deadline. Get 50,000 words done by this date. The end. A deadline is an incredible motivator.

People always say "someday I'll..." but it never happens because "someday" is an obscure time frame. If you say "On this date I'll have 'x' amount done" that's much more concrete and attainable. It's an actual goal, and not just a dream. 

But be sure it's a goal you can attain, or is realistic. For me, if I set a goal to write 100,000 words in one month, I'd get overwhelmed and quit. But, I was able to do 50,000 in November, and I know I'll need roughly another 40-50,000 to finish Vampire Snow White. This means getting that done within two months, is very much a doable goal. 

It can be hard to stick to a deadline you set for yourself if there aren't any consequences. So, I always suggest giving yourself rewards when you reach milestones. "When I have 'x' amount done, I'll get to buy a new book or take myself out to eat somewhere I usually wouldn't go." Or even a small goal like "If I get this chapter done, I can binge watch something on Netflix the rest of the day."

Whatever it takes to get it done, do it!

Those are my suggestions for getting a rough draft completed. What tips and tricks do you have to get a task done? 

---

Like what you read? Consider buying me a coffee. This simply helps me to continue creating content and I really appreciate your support!

My 17 Favorite Books of 2017

Over the course of 2017 I read 113 books. (That's including re-reads!) In 2016 I read 124, and I had actually made it a goal to read fewer this year so I could make time for other things. Technically, I did read fewer books, but I still need a bit more life/reading balance. 

As the year came to a close, I took a look at my Goodreads page and the books I rated 5 stars which I read for the first time, and was able to narrow down which ones I wanted to feature for my favorites of the year post. (Even if it is a tad late. But better late than never, right? Right.) In no particular order (because I can't decide on a ranking) here are my 17 favorites of 2017!

You'll find a good balance of young adult, adult, fantasy, sci-fi, non-fiction, series, romance, contemporary, historical, and stand alones! So, there should be a little bit of something for everyone on this list. 

(Note: books which come in the middle or end of a series I made a note of which number they were so you don't just jump right into the middle of the series. In the genres, I do mention if a book is own voices or not. While, I know this is not technically a "genre" it was simply the best place to mention it. Own voices is a movement for marginalized groups to share books written about them, by them. Example: a character identifies as being Latinex and the author is also Latinex. There also are Amazon affiliate links in this post.)

---

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

• Genre: YA Historical Science Fiction/Fantasy/Own Voices
• Format: Hardcover

I could go on and on about how completely delightful this book was but it would pretty much be all incoherent squealing!

It's basically a 18th century road trip across Europe filled with spoiled rich boys (who are in love!), romance, magic, and pirates! I read it twice and both times was wonderful. I love Monty, Percy, and Felicity. They make my heart happy. Then, even with how light-hearted it is, there's also fantastic deeper moments about forgiveness, acceptance, and love. It's one I could read over and over again and never get tired of it, and I know she has both a sequel and a companion novella in the works. I can't wait to read them!

---

Tower of Dawn (Throne of Glass #6) by Sarah J Maas

• Genre: YA (arguable) Epic Fantasy
• Format: Hardcover

I always feel like when I talk about books by Sarah J Maas, I have to explain myself a bit. So, bear with me. 

The Throne of Glass books (and her Court of Thorns and Roses series) can be pretty divisive in the book world. People either love them, or they hate them. I happen to love them. I'm a ridiculous Sarah J Maas fangirl. 

A big reason why people haven't been a fan of Sarah J Maas' writing has been because they feel she doesn't represent marginalized groups well. Which, I can definitely see what they're saying and there is for sure room for improvement. As big of a SJM fan I am, at first, I was nervous about reading Tower of Dawn. The premise was about a character who had lost the use of his legs and was traveling to another continent to be healed. I am very picky about representation of disabilities in books. I was so scared I was going to be disapointed the way other people in other marginlized groups had been in the past. 

I was so happy and proud of how SJM handled it all, I cried. You can tell she really listened and thought through every single detail of how the character's disability was portrayed. If you want a spoiler-filled review, click here for my thoughts. I wish I could have more references for POC and their thoughts on the representation since a majority of the characters in this book were POC, but from the few I have seen it was all positive. I'm so stinking proud of SJM. 

I also know some people thought it moved too slow and it was boring. I didn't find it to be the case at all. No, it's not action-packed, but the entire book was compelling and I couldn't put it down. 

LOVED this book and I definitely want to re-read it. And if you're thinking you can skip Tower of Dawn simply because it doesn't have Aelin as the main character - you're wrong! You'll want to read this one after Empire of Storms!

---

Girl Meets God by Lauren F Winner

• Genre: Christian Non-Fiction/Memoir
• Format: Paperback

Technically, this was a re-read for me. But it's been at least 10 years since I've read this book, I decided it counts. A friend of mine in college who was a little older than me had recommended this to me and let me borrow her copy. I remember I liked it, but didn't love it.

Earlier this year I was thinking about this book and realized that many of the problems I had with it back then, I've changed my views on now that I'm older. So, I gave it a re-read.

I am so glad I did! I could relate to Winner on so many levels in this memoir. I've gone through many phases of my faith, and this book spoke to me in this current phase. The one where I know what I believe, but I don't always have the passion and feelings I did when I was in high school or college. It was so comforting, and I loved reading about her transition from conservative Judaism to Christianity. 

---

Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor

• Genre: YA Fantasy
• Format: Hardcover

For some reason, Laini Taylor is one of those authors where I know I like them, but when I pick up her books I'm completely blown away and I think "how did I forget how much I love her?" Maybe it's because her Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy came out a few years ago and it felt like it took forever for this one to be released.

But it was well worth the wait.

If you aren't a fan of long descriptive writing, this may not be for you. But, I don't always enjoy those books either, and I loved this one. Each sentence was more beautiful than the next. The world was amazing, and I completely fell in love with Lazlo Strange. The title of the book perfectly describes the experience of reading it. This is a wonderful, strange, dream-like story, and I can't wait for the next one. 

---

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor

• Genre: Science Fiction/Own Voices
• Format: ebook

Anyone who says that novellas can't have excellent world building, plot, and character development because they're too short haven't read Binti. I'd heard rave reviews about it last year but for some reason it took me a long time to download and read it.

Why did I wait so long? I need to read the next two books ASAP.

This is a fantastic sci-fi, coming of age, survival story about Binti who is on her way to university. It's about getting out of your comfort zone, facing your fears, and finding friendship in unusual places. 

---

The Diviners by Libba Bray

• Genre: YA Historical Paranormal
• Format: Audiobook

For literally years, people have been telling me to read The Diviners and I did start it last year then put it down, intending to pick it back up again. Why it took me until now to read it, I have no idea. But I'm so glad I finally did!

I listened to this book on audio (the narrator is AMAZING) in October and it was the perfect thing to get me into the Halloween mood. It's creepy enough to feel like it's Halloween, but not so scary that I had nightmares at night. The main character Evie is delightful and I loved all of the different narrators and how they weaved together. The 1920s New York setting was really fun, and the paranormal mystery was to "die" for!

---

Blade Bound (Chicagoland Vampires #13) by Chloe Neill

• Genre: Urban Fantasy
• Format: Paperback

This is the final book in the Chicagoland Vampires series, so this is really more of a review for all 13 books. (Plus the extra short stories and novellas!) These books follow the main character, Merit, and roughly her first year as a vampire. It's a world where vampires have just "come out" into society and the world is adjusting to their presence.

First, it takes place in Chicago. So, clearly it's awesome. Merit is one of my favorite protagonists. Ethan Sullivan is... well... there are no words for him, but trust me that you won't be disappointed! I loved how the series was about Merit becoming more than she ever could have imagined, all of the fun supernatural elements, strong friendships, and of course the romance! I gave the first book, Some Girls Bite (the link above will lead you to that book so you can go right to the start of the series) a re-read in December and it meant so much more now that I know how everything goes down. I binge-read the whole series in 2016 and this final book came out in March of 2017. I can't believe it's over! But this conclusion was perfect.

Chloe Neill is writing a spin-off series to Chicagoland Vampires and I'm very excited to read it. But, I'm going to miss this series!

---

Seeking Mansfield by Kate Watson

• Genre: YA Contemporary Retelling
• Format: Library Paperback

This one took me by surprise! It's a modern-day young adult retelling of Mansfield Park and it was so stinking cute. It moved a bit slow at first, but by the end I was smiling from ear to ear! Kate Watson did an awesome job of keeping the heart of a Jane Austen book, while also updating it appropriately and making this it's own story at the same time. If you want something to make you smile and go "awwwwww" then you'll want to pick this one up.

---

I Am Not a Serial Killer by Dan Wells

• Genre: YA (Maybe?) Thriller/SFF
• Format: ebook

Another book which took me by surprise! I'm not into horror or thriller much, so I wasn't sure what this book was going to be like. But, Dan Wells is a co-host of one of my favorite podcasts (Writing Excuses) and I want to read at least one book by each co-host. 

This book blew me away. 

More than anything else, it was a character study of a teenage boy with serial killer and sociopathic tendencies. If you ever wanted to learn about the psychology of a serial killer, without ever having to read about a serial killer, this is the book for you. It's completely fascinating (partly because he lives in a morgue and I grew up in a funeral home, so that was really fun for me) and I loved learning how his mind worked and seeing the spiral he goes down when a serial killer plagues his home town. 

I read this book in one sitting and at the end the word that came to mind was "incredible."

---

Written in Red by Anne Bishop

• Genre: Urban Fantasy
• Format: Mass Market Paperback

I've heard so many good things about this book. so it really was about time I started this urban fantasy series. What makes The Others series unique, is that this doesn't have the typical feel of an urban fantasy book. This genre tends to be more fast-paced and have shorter length novels. Written in Red is more character driven and significantly longer than most urban fantasy.

It's urban fantasy for people who don't like urban fantasy.

I loved how "the others" were portrayed because you can tell they truly aren't human. Most of the time when I read about shifters, they have more of the feel of they're normally human with some animal tendencies. With the others, you can tell being an animal is for sure their natural state, and human is not. It's a very fine line, but I could tell the difference, and it made it much better. I also really liked the small town feel of the setting.

---

Searching for Sunday by Rachel Held Evans

• Genre: Christian Non-Fiction/Memoir
• Format: ebook

I've read a few other Rachel Held Evans and thoroughly enjoyed them both. This book made me feel like Evans' relationship with the Evangelical church is similar to mine with the Lutheran Church, which was comforting. As I said with Girl Meets God, I've gone through a lot of phases with my faith, and this one really connected to the phase I'm currently in. 

---

Kindred by Octavia E Butler

• Genre: Science Fiction-Fantasy (Time Travel)/Historical/Own Voices
• Format: ebook

As is what feels like the theme of great books I read in 2017, but once again it took me far too long to get to this science fiction/fantasy legend. Octavia E Butler was the the first black woman to have been published in SFF, and wow, is she amazing! It was one of the first books I read in 2017 and it stuck with  me throughout the rest of the year.

Kindred is about time travel, but don't worry! It's not one of those weird, confusing, wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey type books if you aren't a fan of those. Dana and her husband go back and forth between modern day (which was the 70s when the book was written) and pre-civil war era. It's a fascinating look at slavery, inter-racial relationships, and how people are complex. I want to tell you more, but it would spoil it and I don't want to do that! Just go read it for yourself. I know for sure I'll be reading more of Butler's works and have several waiting for me on my Kindle already.

---

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

• Genre: YA Contemporary
• Format: Hardcover

If you haven't heard about this book yet, what rock have you been living under? It has broken records for length of time on the NYT bestseller list, it has a movie currently being filmed, and it's freaking amazing. 

The Hate U Give is about the Black Lives Matters movement, but also about finding your place in the world when you don't feel like you can ever be yourself, first love, family, figuring out who your real friends are, and standing up for what's right. This book is heartwarming, funny, and one of the most important books of the year. 

Go read it. Right now. Go. 

---

The Savage Dawn (The Girl at Midnight #3) by Melissa Grey

• Genre: YA Urban Fantasy/Own Voices
• Format: Library Hardcover

Again, this is another review which is more for the whole trilogy since this is the finale.

I completely adore this young adult urban fantasy trilogy! In the first book, it reminded me a lot of the Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy, but as the story goes on you'll find they are very different! I loved the war going on between the two fictional races and the impact it had on the characters. There's a lot of different points of view to follow and relationships to fall in love with, and the world and magic are fantastic. 

Part of me refuses to believe this trilogy is over. The way this one ended... it's definitely an ending. But I also have a hunch there could be more coming. PLEASE LET ME BE RIGHT, I NEED IT!

---

The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

• Genre: YA Contemporary Romance/Own Voices
• Format: Hardcover

Becky Albertalli is another author whom I'm a massive fangirl for. I can't get enough of her books. The Upside of Unrequited is her second novel, and a companion to Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda. You can read this one without having to read Simon, she did a great job of keeping away any major spoilers, but I personally think you should read Simon first.

I've never connected to a character when it comes to relationships and dating the way I did to Molly in this book. She might be a teenager, but even as a 31 year old adult, I knew exactly what she was talking about, and I wanted to cry. No one ever talks about people who don't date a lot, haven't had many boyfriends, and having that perpetual unrequited love and crush. I connected to it on such a deep level, it was almost painful. This book was so cute, and so sweet, and I love it to pieces. I may love Simon more, but only by a slight amount. 

---

Magic Rises (Katie Daniels #6) by Illona Andrews

• Genre: Urban Fantasy
• Format: Library Mass Market Paperback

I will never stop obsessing over the Kate Daniels series. Never ever ever. After reading this book (and some of the others) I stand by my statement that this is urban fantasy as its best. Anyone that tells you urban fantasy doesn't have great character development, world building, and compelling storylines has not read Kate Daniels. I will say, the first few books I liked, but didn't LOVE. The longer the series goes on, the better it becomes, and the more obsessed I am. 

Kate is one of the best protagonists ever. Hands down. The relationship is one of my all time favorite OTPs. The use of fables, lore, and legends is amazing. All of the characters are well developed and compelling. This book had me hooked from start to finish. The seventh book is almost just as good, but I had a hard time following the first half. But honestly, both books six and seven are excellent. 

---

Romancing the Inventor by Gail Carriger

• Genre: Historical/ Paranormal/Comedy of Manners/Romance
• Format: ebook

Gail Carriger books are ridiculous, sexy, charming, and downright hilarious. When was the last time you literally LOL'd while reading a book? For me, it was Romancing the Inventor. 

This is a short F/F romance novella set in the world of her Parasol Protectorate series (but can be read alone if you like) and it was so fun to revisit the world and see the characters. I loved the romance in this novella and was rooting for them the entire time. It was a perfect quick read for a quiet afternoon that needed some livening up! 

What were some of your favorite books you read in 2017? Anything that I should put on my "to-read" list for 2018?

---

Like what you read? Consider buying me a coffee. This simply helps me to continue creating content and I really appreciate your support!