I’m in high school and trying to think of a book idea.

I’d played around with novels in the past and always said I wanted to be an author, but I wanted to sit down and really do it. I mean… I was fourteen years old for crying out loud. SE Hinton had her first book written when she was 15 and published when she was 18. Clearly, I had to get going.

There was the age old advice of “write what you know” and I always rolled my eyes at it. What I knew was so boring. Until my sister points out “you know the story of Snow White better than anyone. Why don’t you just write about that?”

Well… now there’s an idea.

It’s a few years post college and I have an incredibly rough draft complete of this old idea about Snow White I once had.

Having put my writing aspirations aside as a hobby and only participating in NaNoWriMo and toying with edits in exchange for focusing on a different career path, I realize I’m tired of keeping my writing on the side. I have so many other ideas. More characters and worlds to explore. I can’t not write anymore.

But… this book is not good.

For someone who played around with it periodically in high school in college it’s just fine. As an actual publishable novel? Not at all.

And I’m okay with this.

I set the book aside and work on something brand new.

It’s a couple years later.

I’ve completed and revised a book and queried it out to agents. Nothing happened with it. While I’m sad and disappointed, as I look through the manuscript I know there’s so much work to be done on it and to be frank - there wasn’t a market for this genre at the moment. Maybe I can return to it someday.

Yet, I don’t have anything else to work on.

As I sit in my living room watching TV an idea hits me like a lightning bolt. It has to do with Snow White. But… different.

No. NO WAY. I can’t go back to my terrible terrible book from high school. BAD IDEA.

But…

The same skeleton of the Snow White tale is there (obviously) and the same with the love interest. Yet… there’s more. A completely new turn. A new story. Sure, use the same character names if they still work. But this isn’t just revising a terrible old draft. It’s something new.

It’s August of 2018 and there’s two weeks to go until the PitchWars deadline.

My Snow White novel isn’t complete. It’s close, but, there’s so many more words to write than I’m used to in such a short period of time.

Yet… maybe I could do it.

Would it be hard?

For sure.

Is it possible though? Am I crazy enough to go for it?

I set a schedule for myself where I wake up early each morning before my 7am clock in time for work. When I get home, I write even more. Sometimes from the moment I get home to the moment I go to bed only to start it all over again the next morning. I cancel plans with friends and have to back out of meetings. I talk to my supervisor about my goal and they’re kind enough to let me leave early the day before my deadline and have the whole next day off so I can get it done.

With a few hours to spare - the book is done. The last half isn’t perfect. The last quarter is a hot mess. But it’s done. I’m completely and utterly exhausted and I never want to look at a computer screen ever again. I also have never been more proud of myself regardless of the outcome.

Submit.

It’s April 2019 and I’m still revising.

I didn’t get picked for PitchWars - but I later learned I did get attention. Someone helps guide me through how to revise. I read a book about plotting. I outline, write and edit, reoutline then rewrite and reedit. I get started, then there’s times for weeks I can barely look at the page.

Each time I have a break through a roadblock appears. Even if it’s just one I’ve created in my own head. I think I have it all though through then when I go to write my mind completely blanks out.

I’ve cut so many words and added even more words only to have them cut again.

I know this is how the revision process goes, but it doesn’t feel like I’m making any. I know it’s being made, but my heart won’t accept this fact.

Other novel ideas are floating around in my head and it’s so tempting to just say “well… I tried that time for something else.” I want to dig through those stories and characters. I want to take all that I’ve learned and maybe, just maybe, this time around it’ll be better.

It’ll be easier.

But if I stopped one book and started a new one every time it got hard I would never have anything complete. So, I keep going.

Then I doubt myself. “What if this wasn’t such a brilliant idea in the first place? What if there isn’t really anything to salvage out of this? Do I really want to waste my time on a book that’s never going to be great? Maybe you were never meant to publish a book. You’ve been talking about this literally your entire life and you still can’t even get revisions on this one book done.”

There’s a literary agent/writer I follow on Twitter, Eric Smith, and he tweeted several weeks ago “The book of your heart is worth fighting for.”

In case you're a writer who needs to hear this...

The book of your heart is worth fighting for.
— Eric Smith (@ericsmithrocks) March 16, 2019

Is this Snow White novel the book of my heart? It might be. Although, I wonder if there is even a single “book of your heart.” I think you might have a few. They all just each explore a different part of your heart. I think this book is one of the books of my heart.

I keep trying to remind myself that if this is the case, it’s worth the fight and the battle. The days of self-doubt and frustration. All of it will be worth it.

Maybe I should shoot for only 100 words a day. Even if it’s not much progress, it’s at least something on days when my brain can’t work any more. Maybe I should set another hard and fast goal to force myself to get it done and stop making excuses. Maybe if I make one more outline it’ll work itself out.

Maybe this

Maybe that

Try this

Try that

Yet… it’s still not done.

Why isn’t it done?

I know I don’t have a timeline and I can’t compare myself to the routines of other people because every has their own process. In spite of knowing this, I can’t help but keep asking myself “Why can’t I just figure it out and get it done?”

There’s something that’s going to be special and unique about this book. There has to be. Something in me says to keep going and keep digging through the muck and I’ll find something special. For some reason, it’s not coming out yet.

I know writing and revising is hard. Most of us writers know this. But when we’re actually in the middle of it, we (or at least I) start to wonder “Is it supposed to be this hard?”

The book of your heart is worth fighting for.

So, I’m trying. And I’m fighting. Even if I don’t hit my word count goal each day. Even if end up deleting all of the scenes that I’ve already written and I have to start some of them (or all of them) over. Camp NaNoWriMo and spring arriving with it’s sunshine helps. Talking with other writers and my CPs helps. But it’s hard right now. It’s been hard for several months now.

But I can’t stop fighting for this book.

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Things I hear people say a lot:

I wish I could read more!
I need to write!
I wish I had more time!

Friends, the struggle is real. We all wish we had more time to do the things we want and to accomplish our goals. If only there were more hours in the day.

But, I wonder if more hours in the day would actually help. I have a suspicion I'd just spend it sleeping or watching Netflix/YouTube videos.

Still, I get the struggle. I have an odd work schedule, and it makes it difficult to plan anything or to map time out. I only get my schedule a week at a time, and more often than not my shift switches throughout the week. One day I'll work in the morning, the next in the evening, and the next randomly in the middle of the day. Sometimes I'll have three days off in a row, and others I'll work 8 days in a row.

Yet - I still read 124 books last year. I was consistent with my YouTube channel. I did a complete overhaul on my novel which started at over 600 pages and I cut it down to 300.

I'm not perfect at time management and doing all I want. But, I'm getting the hang of it. Here's how.

Yeah, it's some tough love. But trust me when I say - most of this is me preaching to myself. This blog post is actually me procrastinating on editing my novel. Sometimes, I need to kick myself in the rear to get going.

My planner last week. Note all of the changes I had to my goals, but also how a lot of them still got done.

Prioritize

Sometimes, you have to figure out what's the most important and let other things slide. It's hard because if you're like me, you want to do all of the things.

But guess, what? That's just not realistic.

Last year, I was focusing a lot of time on my fiction writing. Which meant, I let my blog go by the wayside. It was sad, and part of me wishes that I hadn't let it happen. Yet, I'm glad I did it because my novel got the focus it deserved and needed.

This year, I decided to actually read fewer books because I saw I wasn't spending as much time out, experiencing life, and seeing my friends as I wanted to. I'm not sure how well it's working thus far, but it's a goal of mine because the people in my life need to be a priority.

Then, with books, I've become more cut-throat as to which books I decide to read and finish. If I'm not enjoying a book, I don't have a problem putting it down and returning it to the library, giving it to someone who'll enjoy it more, or sell it to a used bookstore. Life is too short to read books you don't like! The same can go for TV shows, movies, etc. Been binge watching a show because everyone says you should but you aren't actually liking it? Then stop watching. It seems logical, but when you think about it, it's amazing how much time we waste reading/watching things we don't actually enjoy.

Make A Routine

With my work schedule, it's almost impossible to have a regular routine.

Almost.

I plan out each week. Once I get my work schedule, I write it all down in my planner and look at the times I have available. Then, I schedule in the times I have to write/blog/film/edit/etc. I treat them like appointments or meetings that I have to stick to.

At the start of each month, I write out my goals in my planner of what I want to get done and make sure I check them periodically to see how I'm doing.

The big thing I've had to learn is that even when I work later in the afternoon, I still need to wake up earlier. I'm not saying be up at 5 am every day. But sleeping in until noon to get to work at 3 pm? Nope. That's just not for me.

The days I work in the late afternoon/evening, I make sure I get to bed as soon as I get home, and then I get up in the morning. Once I'm up, I get my coffee, and I get to work. Sometimes, that work is catching up on YouTube videos so I can get myself woken up and focused. But once I am, it's crunch time.

Then, I schedule which projects I'm going to work on each day. I have three writing projects I'm working on outside of my blog, and I've learned I can't work on them all in the same day. So, I'll make one day focused on revising a novel. The next day writing my new one. The next day working on my short story.

Know How You Work Best

Some people are night owls and can stay up late into the night to get things done. Other people can get up before the sun is up, finish their to-do list, take a nap, then go to work at night or in the afternoon.

That's not me.

I've learned the days where I work early in the morning and get home mid to late afternoon, I'm pretty much wiped. I tried to set up my schedule where I would get writing done after those shifts, but it just doesn't work for me. Instead, I make that time after work my days to catch up on reading, watching YouTube videos (as a YouTuber, this is super important), or simply relaxing.

Relaxing is important too! If you can't recharge, you can't accomplish anything later. Don't burn out!

Utilize Empty Spaces of Time

At my previous job, I had a really long commute. At first, I listened to music, and it was fine. But, I also realized that was a lot of wasted reading time. So, I got into audio books. Audio books are amazing! I could get through them so quickly with my commute.

I also decided to use that time to listen to podcasts. At least when it comes to learning about writing and publishing, I have replaced reading blogs with listening to writing podcasts. Even though my commute is much shorter now, it's still a valuable time where I could be learning.

This is simply a way I found to use that time. And there are days I need to turn my brain off and I jam out to all of the Broadway Original Cast Albums on my phone. But, it shows that you might have random chunks of time in your day which could be utilized more efficiently.

Recognize That It's Hard

Yeah, it's hard. I love writing and making videos. But guess what? Sometimes it's work. It's work I like. But it's still work. There are days I can't focus, or I don't want to write, or filming a video is a chore, or editing my videos make me want to throw my computer across the room.

That doesn't mean I just say "well... I guess I won't get that done today." Sometimes, have to push through. Most of the time, it's worth it.

Yes, there are days when maybe you truly need a break. Or there were a couple of months I barely wrote a word. (Remember what I said before - relaxing is still important!) But when you notice every day you're neglecting your goals... something isn't right. Re-evaluate and get to the bottom of what's going on. Maybe it's time to switch what you want to accomplish. And that's okay! (Back to the whole priorities thing I said at the start.) Don't simply stop though because it's hard.

I also sometimes listen to the Hamilton album and think about how A.Ham would be disappointed in me if I didn't write all of the words.

What are some of the philosophies you have for getting things done?

When Writing is A Battle