When Plans Don't Go Your Way - Day 164

When you’re an aspiring author preparing you manuscript, going through the query trenches, and researching the industry, you hear all the time that even published authors get rejected. Once you get that contract, it doesn’t mean your woes are over. You hear these things, but the stories about these instances are few and far between, so they’re a little hard to believe. When you so desperately want to be noticed and seen, you don’t want to hear that it’s just the start of the journey.

I started this year hopeful. I had goals and plans and ideas of how I was going to make them happen. I learned what a kanban board was and set up my notecards and sticky notes for my writing, marketing, and social media goals for each quarter. This was the year I was finally going to get my author career figured out! I was even going to start blogging again!

Well… you know what they say when you tell God your plans…

2023 has not gone as I planned, and I’m seeing more and more of what people were talking about when they said the struggles don’t end when you get a publishing contract.

That’s not to say everything is awful and I’m getting rejected left and right. I have an amazing and supportive publisher and editor. My local library this year has been my biggest cheerleader. Other authors I’ve met and gotten to know have been the most fun and supportive people. I went to Washington DC for AwesomeCon and had an “awesome” time. My list of events to attend keeps growing. My third book was released. There’s been a lot of good.

But, there are more days than I’d like to admit that haven’t been quite as exciting. Days I doubt myself and wonder if I’m doing anything right. More often than not, I spend my writing time staring at the computer screen or my notebooks instead of putting words on the page and can’t figure out why I can’t get my ideas and stories together.

The last couple of weeks I’ve dropped a short story project, asked for an extension for my book deadline, and have had to rethink my latest pitch to my editor because I’ve been slow on getting it to her and other people have too similar of ideas.

None of these things are the end of the world and happen all of the time to writers. I never intended that to be me though. I always wanted to be the person who turned in her work on time and had multiple projects going and ready for something new at any time.

It’s been a reminder that I’m only human and can only do so much. 2023 hasn’t been kind to me or my family, and it’s natural that my mind and body is saying “hey, you can’t do everything.”

At first, there were a lot of emotions and tears. I beat myself up for taking so long and dragging my feet. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t “Just get it together.” Then, once it was done, it was like I could breathe again. Would it have been great if I didn’t need extensions and I’d gotten my new book pitch in sooner and I could have done that fun short story project?

Defintiely.

It’s not worth my mental health though. Because if I push myself too hard and force it out of me, the writing and the stories will suffer. I will suffer along with it.

So, this is my reminder to you. If you’re an aspiring author still waiting to have your first book published, be patient. It will come and know that those of us who are published are having the same doubts and insecurities you do. And if you’re early in your carereer like me, be patient with yourself too. We’re all on different paths and journeys and need to do what works best for us, our writing, and our lives.

We got this, and sometimes there will be stumbling blocks. Sometimes there will be days (or months in my case) where the words just don’t come. And that’s okay.