Like with most things I write, the moment I hit “publish” on my last blog post, I had that immediate feeling of panic and regret. It happens each time I send a draft of a book to my editor. I want to crawl into my laptop and the depths of the Internet to grab whatever it is that I sent and say “I take it all back! Never mind!”
“Should I have said that?”
“Did I really write that sentence?”
“Should I be doing this at all?”
“I don’t have time to do this.”
“Did I really just announce to the Internet I’m in therapy?” (To be fair… it’s 2023. If you aren’t in therapy now, or never have been, you probably should be.)
“Girl, do you even know how to blog anymore?”
Alas, it’s out in the world and I guess there’s no going back now. Part of me wondered if I should even bother writing a second post since I already am not writing every single day. But, I want to get back into good habits. Habits of things that make me happy, even if it takes me awhile to get myself to do them.
It’s amazing how sometimes things you genuinely love, can be the hardest to be motivated for. The last several months I’ve been neglecting so many things that I love and are good for me. Doing yoga regularly, cleaning and organizing my spaces, and of course… writing. For awhile I had the excuse of The Forest’s Keeper coming up. That won’t work anymore.
Today, I decided I needed to get myself up and back into it. I set my alarm and got up, did yoga, cleared off my desk, and tried to write. It was only about 100 words. But they were 100 words I didn’t have before and my goal was to get back into that good habit more than a word count goal. The word count goals will come of course. Sometimes though it’s just about putting my butt back in that chair and opening up Scrivener to my work in progress.
I guess that means, I should blog too. So here I am, writing a post. It’s a short one, but it’s here. And you know, it feels good. Yoga this morning felt good as did getting those 100 words in and writing a blog. Sometimes, all you need is that little reminder of “Oh yeah… I actually like doing this” to get you back up and going.
There’s this myth about writing and creativity that you have to wait for your muse to arrive or for inspiration to hit. Then all of the sudden, the words (or whatever art you’re creating) will magically flow out of you in a flood. Maybe sometimes it’s that way. I’ve had those times when I can’t stop writing because the ideas have to escape my brain or else I’ll explode.
You know when I get the most writing, and best writing done though?
When I’ve been doing it on a regular basis and have a goal. The NaNoWriMo months. The times I’m on a deadline. The moments where I have a routine established and I’m regularly (not necessarily daily) sitting at my laptop and putting words on the page, even if it’s only a few. Its like when I do yoga. When I only practice it every few weeks or months, each session is tough and harder to do. Then, when I get back into the routine, my body remembers and each time it gets better and is more fulfilling. Writing is the exact same way. It can be tough to do and the first few sessions are a little painful. But the more often I sit there with my laptop, the more the words flow. The muscles in my creative brain turn on again and in time, the words come. My hope is that will happen with this blog too.