When writing, beginnings are the actual worst.
There's so much pressure on how you start things. You have to hook the reader in. Grab their attention. When you send pages of a manuscript to an agent or publisher, usually they have you send in the beginning of your work. The first chapter, or 5-10 pages, or something. If they don't like those first few pages it goes in the trash.
Okay, I don't know if it actually goes in the literal trash. But you get the idea.
Beginnings are kind of a big deal.
A blank page, or in this case, screen, can be one of the most intimidating things in the world. I'm much more likely to procrastinate and focus on something else, anything else, when I have a blank page in front of me. If I have something there already, it's much easier for me to keep going. It's the getting started that gets me.
For over a month now, I've had this page on SquareSpace all set up for me to fill it up with words and pictures. I had this idea of starting blogging again, but this time going from scratch. From the beginning.
Part of me thought I should go back to my old blog. Everything was already started! The page was up. I had followers. (Well... some followers.) There were already posts there, I just had to go back to writing more of them.
But, I knew deep down starting over was what was needed. Something new, simple, and without other strings and obligations. No gimmicks, not selling anything, no niches, tags, or pressure. Just me and the page.
I wondered if I should do it at all. I don't have advice to give about anything. I can't tell you how to get a job, how to make money, what to cook for dinner tonight, or how to craft something you can sell on etsy. All I have are my thoughts and random things going on in my life. Things that will probably bore everyone.
I miss blogging though. I miss writing just for the sake of writing and clearing my head. A friend of mine from college has been blogging lately and I love hearing about her life and what's going on. It's awesome, I feel like she and I are closer now than we have been in awhile, and it made me realize how much I used to love sitting down on Xanga and later Blogger to talk about my day and the ideas going through my head without worrying about how many followers I had or if I would ever "make it" as a blogger.
Not that I don't want people to read. Let's be honest. Obviously I want people to read or else I would just keep a diary. I have no idea if anyone is interested. I might not be transparent enough. I might be too transparent. Who knows. But, I want to write.
The thing was, the beginning.
I have tons of ideas and I have several saved drafts of what I want to write about. None of them fit the bill for the first post though. That gosh darn beginning.
Yet, it has to be done.
So, here we are.
I feel like Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens should start singing "The Start of Something New" or I should quote the book of Genesis or something...